Doctor, Doctor

A while ago I was sick. I had a UTI; that's a urinary tract infection. Enough said.

I went to the chemist. I asked if they had any Ural.

Blank looks all around. Mmm...ok...change tact.

I attempted to describe the pain. The chemist looked at me and started pointing at his stomach and making loud, sort of farting, noises. He then asked 'deposits....you got the deposits'?

Eh? deposits? I stood there while my face went bright red and then my brain dropped into gear and I realised what he meant.

'No, no deposits' I replied.

'Ah, you have the wets then...you know wets....?'

Yes! Finally we're getting somewhere.

'Yes, I have the wets. Yes, wets...'

He gives me a box with Arabic text that has some small print in English which I can barely see.

'Drink', he says, 'three time a day and wets will go'.

Praise be to Allah.

I thank him, pay and leave. Get home. Open the packet.

'This medication is to treat diarrhea and should be taken 3 times a day...'