Doctor, Doctor

A while ago I was sick. I had a UTI; that's a urinary tract infection. Enough said.

I went to the chemist. I asked if they had any Ural.

Blank looks all around. Mmm...ok...change tact.

I attempted to describe the pain. The chemist looked at me and started pointing at his stomach and making loud, sort of farting, noises. He then asked 'deposits....you got the deposits'?

Eh? deposits? I stood there while my face went bright red and then my brain dropped into gear and I realised what he meant.

'No, no deposits' I replied.

'Ah, you have the wets then...you know wets....?'

Yes! Finally we're getting somewhere.

'Yes, I have the wets. Yes, wets...'

He gives me a box with Arabic text that has some small print in English which I can barely see.

'Drink', he says, 'three time a day and wets will go'.

Praise be to Allah.

I thank him, pay and leave. Get home. Open the packet.

'This medication is to treat diarrhea and should be taken 3 times a day...'

Think It Over Now

It's again another very hot day in Dubai and I've exhausted all the shopping centres in the city and have spent hours on the net reading and am rather bored. Sigh.

So I took to doing a little exercise, of the writing kind, one of those annoying emails that people send and ask you to answer and send on, in the hope of getting to know the 'real' you. Feel free to copy and write about yourself so I can get to know the 'real' you.

I am? a woman who is about to go in to the next age bracket...UGH!
I want? to feel at peace
I wish? someone would employ me
I hate? injustices
I miss? changes in weather and laneway restaurants and bars
I fear? failing
I hear I am not? prone to exercise
I hear I am? kind
I dance? like a wild person with big hair
I sing? all the time and out of tune...please never give me a microphone, I'd like to maintain some shreds of dignity
I cry? all the time, especially when I hear sad songs that make the me feel sentimental
I am not always? the most patient person
I make with my hands? cakes...and more cakes
I write? all the time, sometimes just for myself or for want of talking to someone
I confuse? what I want and what I need...do I really need to pur-chase that $150 jar of face cream?
I need? food...fresh green food and lots of laughter
I should? go to bed at a reasonable hour
I start? thinking about things and can't seem to turn my brain off
I finish? books and am happy